Wednesday, September 13, 2006

As promised..

This material is copywrited, so don't got out there copy and pasting.

Monologue ideas: (There are rough and just ideas. Please feel free to bend them, break them and twist them if anything catches your eye)

I heard that Rocky Anderson wants to put of some Field Goal posts at the point of the mountain. He figures this will keep the BYU football out of the SLC

Have you ever watched someone open a fortune cookie and for about 2-4 seconds, they actually think the fortune will come true? “Never kiss an elephant on the lips” and the person nods in acknowledgement. I always wanted to write fortune cookies “How was your meal?” And “Do not believe what cookies say”

Crown Burger, how many employees does one establishment need? You walk in, they have 20 people ready to take your order, prepare your food and server it out to you. I was the only person in there the other day, ordered a crown burger, waited, waited some more, took 10 minutes because they kept falling over each other. The odd thing, as I am leaving, they have a help wanted sign on the window.

I work in an office cubicle all day. Anyone else have a 6X6 grey, semi-padded cell? I figured since I work in one giant room of cubicles, I would start my own cubicle gang. My “people” are located on the north side of my office building, so we all flash “north side” gang signs at work. We have only had to fight the south side for the water cooler once, my office chair has hydraulics, it has been officially “pimped”.

Why is it the “water cooler” is the best place to chat? There are never any chairs near by. Now, the break room is the place to meet, but maybe that is too obvious.

Isn’t office humor the best sometimes? Like when people go on vacation, you fill their cubicle with shipping peanuts, or revere all the keys on their keyboard. I put a pink piece of paper on a guys monitor once…as far as I know, he has never seen it. It is still on the monitor, but his cubicle is empty of all personal items.

Did you see that Warren Jeffs was arrested outside of Vegas? Did that strike anyone else as odd? Why is the head of a religious group in “Sin City”? I also noticed that he has taken this “polygamy” thing a bit far, he has hired two attorneys.

Did you see that Utah is #3 in a study that looks at longevity and health? People live, on average to be 78 years old in Utah. Do you know what state was last? Anywhere that Dick Cheney is hunting.

We are getting a new Soccer stadium in Sandy, which has mixed reviews. They are taking something like 8 million dollars from the Granite school district. 8 Mil! The parents are especially mad because of all the extra sugar cookies and brownies that will have to be made to make up for the loss.

1 comment:

Brandy Night Rock said...

LOL